.....

OH MY FUCKING GAWD
Im bored again,
no one is emailing me,
at all,
Its been about 4 hours or something
I wanna die.

Drunk at 11 am

When your life is as interesting as mine, you would understand me. I sit here, it is 3.20 pm and I am bored as hell. We are literally not doing anything in class, but we cant leave either. We dont have school tomorrow either, but we cant leave. Isnt it funny? Some are playing RPG´s, some are watching ANTM cycle 8, some are addicted to The Treasures of Montezuma, or are playing Bejeweled 2. I am listening to Kylie´s non stop history 50+1 and as I am listening to Finer Feelings, I start getting depressed and drink the remaining 100 ml of my morning cocktail.

Yes I drink in class, wait until the drunk classroom photo shoot comes.

Ugh I am so bored.
I want sex,
and dancing,
and KFC....
and ice cream...

What's the best that could happen?

That's the new foreign policy that FarIsa Inc. has incorporated into their business policies. It is the new and improved version of the previous one which was called 'whats the worst that could happen?' A recent study has shown that the new policy has improved crew morale significantly. It was found that it dramatically decreased the fear of having a fucked up weekend. Though at times, the new policy would prove insufficient, referring to the 'she-who-shall-not-be-named' incident.

Last weekend started out fine. We were all happy that the Bahamians who were coming with us (Louisa and me) had told us that they were going to arrange a ride from school all the way to Havana. That was great because anything beats having to take three separate rides to go to the capital. Then came the first funny part of the weekend. One hour before the planned departure I received an email asking me, more or less telling me, that there was no ride. It was never arranged. This was especially comical because I remembered reminding the Bahamians to arrange this cab from Tuesday onwards, which was 5 days earlier. But yeah, somewhere I did feel that we were going to walk 2 kilometres in the searing sun anyway. Call it my special Surinamese optimism. And by that I mean negativity, because yeah, we know I am negative Sally Jones.

The second fun-thang of the weekend was the departure. I mean, when you know that you only have about 24 hours (of which at least 8 are spent traveling) you'd think that one would hurry to leave right? Nope. They were late. We left at around one and we started the 1.5 mile hike to Isabel Rubio. During which we stopped for refresco and pizza.

On a side note, there is this one girl who annoys me a lot. I don't know why but she really does annoy me meticulously. It is just everything that she does. Even when buying pizza. The girl is fat, you'd think Godzilla would jump at any chance to eat something right, but noooo, homegirl is picky as hell, she refused to eat her pizza because it had some bitter aftertaste. I had to eat her pizza. I eat almost everything. Is it my metabolism-which-is-still-low-cuz-bigmacs-give-me-lovehandles? Is it something else? I don't know but she really really really annoyed me last weekend. Im sorry ellen, but its true, I don't like her. Ever since that weekend in pinar, when we went out to eat. I mean, how difficult is it to order, they already said no beef no pork, just fried chicken. So take the fucking fried chicken. But noooo, they went through every item on the menu with the waitress who was clearly annoyed as she had already said that there was nothing else. But nooo-ho-hooooo homegirl was still trying. *sigh* I have no idea. I really do not.

Moving on, we took a sardine-truck. That means, we sat like a pack of sardines in a can with our bags shoved in every crevasse, yes every crevasse, im pretty sure my sphincter would have a seriously wicked convo with me if it could only talk. It does sometimes talk to me (when it produces farty orchestras) but I have never deepened myself in fartch (farty dutch). When we reached pinar, my left cheek refused to wake up, I had to entice it with a bag of cookies and a bottle of rum. We stopped at el rapido to freshen up after we got some money out of the bank. As I am very hungry right now I keep on regretting not getting myself some fried chicken while I was there. Movig on, we took an ok cab that took all 6 of us to Havana. We had nice music and we all enjoyed it. Well most of us as two of the girls dozed off into a semi-comatose state. Ellen seemed to be enjoying herself. I have just realized that I only refer to ellen, and not to anyone else. I guess its because they don't know that their stories will be put on the net for everyone to read :P:P Anyway, we reached Havana and we split up.

Three of the Bahamians went to Miramar, to their embassy for a special conference which tuned out to be shit anyway) and another Bahamian girl went with Louisa and me, because her grandparents were visiting Havana. We were supposed to locate them and bring her to her family and shit. We all went to our casa to refresh to continue our Havana adventure. I took a big shit. It felt like it had been ages. And then I felt like shaving my balls. So I did that too. Either way, we continued on to look for the direction of her grandparents' house on my map that I carried with me, and we decided to walk there as we had some time to kill. When we finally reached, her people weren't there,
so we had to conversate with the people from the house, And I could smell some nice ass food, but my dignity kept me from asking for some, we went to Chinatown later with Jesus. My cuban friend. The Bahamian girl we were with stayed with her family. By the time we reached the restaurant we were already pretty drunk. We had chop suey and chow mein. Which was actually pretty good, but yeah, I wasn't that hungry anymore. From what I recall, I was conversating with a cat, a beautiful cat. In Spanish. I was telling it how they threw away my pride and joy, Tina, back home. They just threw away my cat, and I was explaining this to the cat in Chinatown, and then it nodded at me, and I knew Jessebelle understood me. Afterwards, I don't really remember what I did, but I think I went to see Ellen and her friend at La Rampa to get a bite to eat. That's where the whole ordering drama started. There was this huge fucking ass picture of a fried ass shrimp, and it said camaron, and she still had to ask me what a Ca-ma-raw-nies were. Ugh, I wanted to take my nasty ass daikiri (this bar was shitty) and smash it into her fat fucking face.

After we sent them home (stumbling, because ellen couldn't even handle half a daikiri hahaha) me, my friend from Nauru and Jesus went to another fiesta de diez pesos. We were a little late but it didn't matter as they were still doing dragshows by the time we arrived. They were going on and on and on (like a pure white diamond –only kylie fans will understand that--) and they finally stopped at 3, when they started with the cool house music that we were waiting for. We met up with mr.6 who is my friends lovebuddy. The one that did her 6 times that is. As we all assumed he was straight, because he fucked her 6 times (somehow I cant stress that enough, it was all within 2 hours hahaha). We couldn't be more wrong. Mr.6 was kissing fag here, fag there, fag everywhere. It was funny actually. I was standing in line to be next, but he stopped prematurely. Hmpf

Anyhow, after the party we sat at the malecon, my friends and me. Where we were just drinking beers, looking pretty, when mr.6 just appeared. And started the whole thing all over again with my friend, just like that time we got robbed. They started kissing and licking and whatnot. And I just continued my convo with Jesus. Then this weird guy (with pretty eyes) and prison tattoos started talking to me. Telling me how much el me gusto. Hahaha. And that I had a culo, and he had a pinga, entonces, nos ibamos a joder. Hahahah, free translation: I have a hole, he has a dick,
concluding: lets fuck.

I did not.
We just kept on talking as he kept on making weird fucking movements in front of me. So I just gave him a peck on the cheek to get him off my back, would have given him a normal kiss if he didn't tell me that he lost his virginity to a pig, or was it a horse, I don't know, some farm animal. I was so disgusted that I had to ask my friend Jesus, and he told me that it is normal there. I wanted to vomit

The next day me and my friend were off to go and get pierced. That never happened. The guy moved back to Holguin, how nice eh? But yeah, we then decided to go look for the rest, whom we found al frente del teatro Yara. Which was fine I guess, only, one was missing since last night.
The Havana curse was back. They were freaked out. And I didn't give a fuck, and neither did my other friends that weren't from the Bahamas. We literally spent two hours just standing there, eating dutty peanuts and talking and drinking Vigor energy drink (its cuban……lol but it works)
Anyway, I finally decided that waiting there wasn't going to solve anything so we all went to Chinatown to eat and drink our sorrows away. I had this killer fish steak and an even kill-y-er cuba libre. That one just done fucked me up I was stumbling. That strong. As we were buying pastries Jesus got a phonecall from some other Bahamians in la habana saying that the missing girl was already halfway back to school. Which sucked because we waited 2 hours on her. So we were pissed. So pissed that we decided to leave immediately where problem number no se qué arose. The taxis were overcharging, so we refused to pay, so we just sat there like Gandhi on a good day. Really, we just sat there ready to take an indisciplina from the school for the fact that we were going to be very late.

At 5 pm we were still there. And our ultimatum was 9 pm. It takes about 4 hours to go to Havana. Well we finally managed to find the same ass rat-cage bus as the one we came in. By the time we reached pinar, I smelled like a chimney and half of my deserts had already melted. We took another cab back to school and reached just in time, at 8.40. All was well in la-la land and the children were sage again

Tadaaaaa

END

PS I really had to summarize the end because I was kind of in a snag
(blames ellen), but yeah, it still makes sense right
Comment if there are any unclear elements.

And please, save the world and ride a cowboy.

The Biggest Frustration

Your parents, older friends, family, they always tell you to enjoy your youth while it is there. Because they know it was the best time of their life. Normally we always take them for granted because you can never do anything when you're a kid because you've always wanted to be grown up so you could do the stuff you wanted to do.
Now imagine, youre 18 years old, on the fringes of being adult, and not really being a kid anymore. What do you call yourself then? an Adid or a Kidult? Ugh its just very confusing for me.
I got to hear yesterday that I need to go to visit an oncologist because my tumors might have gone bad, I Just realized today I can go home for a week, but my mom who is supposed to help arrange all this just flipped and is unreachable, my dad isn't supposed to know about it, and I think I am weirdly attracted to someone who I am not supposed to be attracted to.

My life is a mess,

and people still ask me why I am drunk at this very moment.

Rihanna Feat. Ne-Yo

You see, just a little over 6 months ago, I would have killed myself if I ever thought the things I am thinking right about now. Just a little over 6 months ago, Suriname was still fresh on my mind, I still believed I could get a week in Holland for Christmas, I still believed I would never succumb to the whole Che Guevarra craze, that I would never enjoy my time here.

I was very wrong. Somewhere along the way I started getting positive, more social, more decisive and better looking (yes, the pimples disappeared). I even stand up for myself now. Can you believe that?

I am without a doubt. A Cuba-Whore.
I Love Cuba. But I Hate that I love it so.
That Rihanna has me crankin out lyrics, but I understand now

I love the fresh air, the internet-access in class, the ease of life, the cheap alcohol, the beautiful people, the nice friends I have made here, all makes it a bit worth while. I have also discoverd that thinking about the better aspects of life here makes you way less depressed and requires one less bottle of rum every d.... week.

Its better than thinking about nazi teachers, sucky school schedules, not being able to go home and all that Jazz

If I had a camera I'd show you that I really am happy.

Forever Young

"...I want to be, forever young..."
Who remembers that song? Well, after a gruesome discovery, I definetely remember the song now. It was so gruesome it made me fear my far future as well, will I ever be one of 'those' people who keep on thinking that they're young and fabulous?
These pictures were discovered by my friend on a school PC, and for some odd reason, I keep on having these thoughts in my head that these pictures were never meant to be discovered by young developing brains.

These are straight from the C-dossiers. The Cuban Dossiers.

File: The C-dossiers
Sub-Cat: Mission Salto

These pictures were apparently taken at Salto de los portales. That is where the first picture of this blog (me with my bottle of rum) was taken as well. Luckily it was not at the same time, otherwise I would have eye cancer. And trauma to the brain. Moving on, this was a supposed trip taken by the teachers of our school. These are actually Spanish teachers, well, the sexy one that was posing on the rock was/is a Spanish teacher. It is absolutely horrible. please, shield your eyes before taking a look at the cuban belleza.

Cant say I didnt warn ya.

KYLIEX2008

OMG it has started. hearing about the reviews on perezhilton and seeing the pictures, I NEED TO GOOOOO. Im hoping Ican catch the June 23rd show in the Ahoy in Rotterdam. I will do everything in my power to go, because these chances dont always come along. So wish me lots of luck.

SNAPs!

Just some pictures I took just now with my friend Renette from Jamaican.
The finger in the first picture is Armelles, from Belize.

Cuban Beauties

It has recently come to my attention that there was a need of pictures of beautiful Cuban ladies on my website. So it is my duty to oblige to these bahamian desires. Yes, I know its you, but it is ok, this will be the first batch of many pictures of what Cuba is really about. It starts with the best ones and then the regular pretty ones. So yeah, I think its a great idea, displaying the human resources that Cuba has to offer :P

Enjoy, these are the hot nurses of our school.

We're in Havana baby

Havana ALMOST always equals heaven

Twas a nice mornin, we didnt even have to walk the three kilometers to Isabel Rubio where we usually take the cabs. We took a mula (horse-donkey cart) halfway, and rode it all the way to Isabel Rubio, which was fun, the shaking kinda reminded me of a vibrator, but then I realized, I do not have a vibrator, so I guess it kinda reminded me of what a vibrator would or could feel like. In Isabel Rubio, there was nobody waiting to steal our cab, so we just took a cab, which was nice, he drove with a moderate velocity, which was good, considering the first etapa (step) of the trip was about 70 kilometers. Our first destination was Pinar del Rio. Once over there I got the scare of a lifetime, my card didnt work, AGAIN. But it turned out that the first bank I went to just didnt have an active connection, I managed to get my money out at the second bank, and we continued on to Havana. In a really fast cab. A cab that had a cable for an mp3 player, so I was listening to nice music, something really funny was that the cabdriver almost had an orgasm when he heard umbrella. Apparently miss Robyn is very very very popular aca en Cuba.

Once in Havana, at 6 pm, we freshened up and took a 3 km walk along the Malecón, paseo del Prado, past parque central, Gran Teatro de la Habana and el capitolio. Then we had nasty chinese chow mein at a new restaurant, so I didnt eat. It was in chinatown where I met up with my friend from before I came to Cuba, Jesús. We didnt have fun as the food was sucky, but everybody was laughing, because Jesús was a bigger bitch than me, and he kept picking on me, which apparently is amusing to these people I call friends.

We took a cab to edificio Focsa, where we were planning on going drinking at the bar on the top floor. Instead we crossed the road and ate (again) rabbit. It was amazing. Yes, RABBIT aka BUNNY aka that-thing-that-attacked-me-on-august-6th-2007-in-rotterdam. It tasted like chicken on steroids. We drank daikiris but I assume that they hadnt made daikiris in a while, so they laced it with rum, the non drinkers looked doped up after they managed to finish it. It got them so tired that they went home. So that left my friend from A-country-that-shall-not-be-named.

Soooo as the fags outnumbered the straightie, we decided to go to 'a-fiesta-de-diez-pesos'. Literally translated, 10 peso party, but in reality it means underground-gay-party-outside-of-havana. The cabs line up at a specific place in the center of Habana, and only the drivers know the location, they change it every now and then so as not to alarm the police, it kinda is illegal, especially because many tourists go. It took us to this park-that-shall-not-be-named, about 20km outside of Havana. As we arrived they were having a drag show, which was cool. my first drag show ever, one of the trannies was wearing radioactive green lenses with matching wig and dress. And she did this performance of hers with a husky dog. It was kinda cool, and the people stuck money in her fake-cleavage. Then after the drag shows, the music started. The House music. The same goddamn music I like. It was sensation 2007 all over again, but with a great remix. I was happy and my friends were happy, as the beer was plentiful. Then came the reggaeton competition. All of a sudden these 6-7 hot guys jumped on stage, took off their shirts and started dancing. It was awesome. One of the final three looked like kylies backstage dancer and that model from D&G perfume spliced into one perfect specimen. This hot guy with a crawford piercing walked up to me, and asked me where I was from, I told him, not from here. And then he grabbed me by the chin, looked into my eyes and said: pretty woman. I was dying of laughter on the inside, but I understood what he said. Then I grabbed his chin and stroked it gently, saying : Tu también mi amor. And he was shocked. But I passed :S

Entonces, at 4 the party ended and we took a cab back, and we ended up at La Rampa I think. We were just walking around, peeing in building crevasses and just having fun. We reached the malecon where we continued giggling and having fun amongst the gay crowd. And then all of a sudden, a complete (hot!) stranger walks up, looks at my friend (the one from school) and starts kissing her passionately. Very passionately. And she wasnt complaining. Thats the last part of the evening that we enjoyed. Then the two guys from the party, I believe one of them was the winner of the reggeaton thingy earlier, but I am not so sure, as I was drunk. Then out came the knives and out went my ipod, money, camera, watch and dignity. I got mugged. Where were my friends, one was getting jiggy widdit, and I believe the other was too. Yes, more than 1000usd worth of stuff, footsie. and I was panicking, because my friend (from another country) left with a stranger, so i ran towards the nearest police officer saying that I got robbed, but at the moment another thought kept me busy, the fate of my friend. They took me to the police station for the report. The report that took 6 hours to make, the report that was only 2 pages long. You can imagine me being stressed, crying excessively and almost pulling my hair out when the officers kept saying that I should prepare for the worst because my friend had probably been raped and thrown into the ocean. I remembered that we made a deal to meet at Coppelia at 10, but I couldnt go, because I was still at the police station. Moving on, I called my friends, who were sleeping, to go and look for her. And they did, but with no results. So they all came to the police station at 12, which is exactly when we went back to La Rampa to look for her.

Turns out she was STILL making out with her cuban friend on the Malecon, which is why I was very relieved. As soon as it hit me that she was fine, I started crying out loud on La rampa, realizing my ipod, camera and watch were footsie. But everything worked out fine in the long run, we had Wakamba chicken on calle o (its chickenlegs, with the bone pulled out, but filled with ham and cheese)...kinda cordon bleu. Anyway, I wanted to get a cd to my other friend, so I walked 3km only to find out that he wasnt there, so I left again, leaving an original cd on the floor of such a building just didnt seem smart at the time.

As we drove home, we were very happy that nothing REALLY bad happened to us. Minus the material things and the mental scarring, everything was ok after all. And today, as I am writing this, I am much mor informed than yesterday, when I was thinking horrible things at the police station. There was a moment where I thought the cuban that was with me the whole time to set it up, but my friend from school (the horny one that was making out with another cuban) told me that he came looking for me and got very worried. I can confirm that, I received a few confused emails today.

Either way, I am a few experiences richer, and a lot of gadgets (AND MY LABELLOSTICK) poorer. But im over it.